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Isaac and DenishaCharisma Magazine Wednesday, 22 September 2010 Felicia Mann   

For years statistics have shown that Christian marriages are just as likely to end in divorce as non-Christian ones. Adding to the bleak snapshot of the American church is the fact that clergy divorce rates are lock step with their congregations. But pastor Isaac Pitre and his wife, Denisha, (pictured above) who helm Christ Nations Church in Texarkana, Texas, say God wants to restore all marriages-even if couples have already divorced.

Charisma recently spoke with the pair, who remarried each other six years after their 2003 divorce. You can hear the entire interview at pitre.charismamag.com.

Charisma: After 10 years of being married, what led to your divorce?

Isaac Pitre: It was basically just not understanding that my ministry was really to be at home and to [Denisha] as much as it was to the church and the world.

Charisma: What caused the two of you to reconcile your relationship?

Isaac: I had to accept personal responsibility for what I did and what I caused, and that it wasn’t the devil. It was my own pride and selfishness and neglect of really honoring and loving her. It took me awhile to come to that conclusion, but when I did, I immediately knew that our relationship could come back together. If I helped tear it up, then I could help fix it.

Denisha Pitre: Immediately during the separation I realized that this was not the will of God, so I … tried to reconcile with Isaac. After a few years of realizing that the relationship was not going to be reconciled, I just started to pray … for soberness of mind. I continued to pray for myself and that God would just cleanse me and make me whole.

Charisma: What happened next?

Isaac: The night God broke through to me was the same night I picked up the phone. I went after Denisha and told her what the Lord had showed me-that I was wrong and it wasn’t her. It wasn’t about the ministry. It was my arrogance and my pride, and I wanted her back.

Charisma: Denisha, what were you thinking at that point?

Denisha: When he called, I just didn’t trust it because I thought there was a hidden agenda. But the faith that was built through [the previous year’s trials] helped me to accept him calling and accept that what he said was true.

Charisma: What happened after you decided that you were going to reconcile?

Isaac: We dated for six months, just to make sure we were really transformed. God had really started working on us, and Denisha wanted to make sure I was this new and improved Isaac, and I wanted to make sure she was the new and improved Denisha. After the end of that, I think another month and a half we were married.

Charisma: What would you tell someone who is currently going through a divorce or is contemplating getting one?

Isaac: First of all, everyone should understand that God hates divorce. Even though God forgives, divorce outside the groundworks of the Bible is wrong. The next thing is to understand that if there is a possibility for reconciliation, meaning the other person is not remarried, instead of asking God for someone else, ask God to fix the marriage you had. If the man is not fixed and the woman is not fixed, no matter who you remarry, you’re going to have the same issues.

Charisma: Pastor, do you have any specific advice for husbands? Isaac: Yes I do, and it is simply Ephesians chapter 5, that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church. First Corinthians 13 says that we can have power to understand mysteries; we can preach with deep revelation, and we can have faith to move mountains, but the Bible says that if we have not love then we are nothing. That became very real to me.

Charisma: And how about you, Denisha-any advice for wives?

Denisha: For all wives, but especially for pastors’ wives, you should learn not to be a clone of what you think a pastor’s wife should be. I urge women to look inward and discover who they are. Focus on developing that. Everything you need for your spouse is wrapped up in who you really are.

Charisma: How do you now view your experiences?

Denisha: One of the greatest things I see in retrospect is that staying together is really one of the easiest things to do. You simply love each other, be humble and put God first. If you’re sincere with who you are in Christ, then you don’t have all those flaws and pride that cause separation. To actually stay in the relationship … is one of the easiest things to do.

Isaac: We give glory to God for our reconciliation … but instead of saying that God put us back together, we like to say that we allowed God to put us back together. God is trying to fix every marriage in every home, but He’s often not allowed to [mend relationships] because people don’t yield to Him. He is either trying to put every home back together or He is trying to keep every home from falling apart. It’s not a question of what God can and cannot do; it’s a question of what God is allowed to do.

 

 


2 Responses to “Love and Remarriage”

  1. 1 Ron and Barbara Pirie

    God bless you Isaac and Denisha because you put God first! We desperately need to read more articles like this one, whether we be disciples of Christ or non-believers, but could we encourage readers to read the FULL REPORT as the heading “Love and Remarriage” is deceiving. This is not about remarriage to a 2nd, 3rd etc. spouse, but about remarriage to one’s original one-flesh covenant wife or husband after a divorce as Jesus has told us in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke that all remarriage other than that is adultery and we desperately need to heed the warnings (see 1 Cor 6: 9 as just one example) in the N.T. about how the unrighteous (one e.g. adulterers) will not inherit the kingdom of God. Our God does not show favouritism and this applies whether believers or non-believers yet we need to remember that 1 Corinthians was written to the ‘church’ in Corinth and also to keep in mind the context of the Book of Revelation (i.e. to the ‘saints’) which also contains many warnings about those who ‘shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death’ ( Rev. 21: 8 and 22: 15 are two examples). In Genesis 2: 24, at the beginning – the creation, our Abba Father instituted marriage for ALL mankind when He said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” and the best description we have heard of this ‘one-flesh’ likens it to mixing a pot of blue paint with a pot of yellow paint whereby you get one new ‘paint/colour’ which can no longer be separated into two (‘colours’) again!

    There’s some excellent resource material at http://www.marriagedivorce.com and an Australian website http://www.wisereaction.org wherein is found the following item which outlines the real meaning of the controversial scriptures on remarriage in Matthew 5 and 19.

    COUNT THE COST, BY PASTOR DANA HARTONG

    “Dad, is there ANY scripture you can find in the Word of God that would allow us to give our blessing to my father-in-law’s up-coming marriage to a divorced woman?” That was the question that started me on the journey to find the truth about this issue.

    We had lived in Indiana, and the church in which I was ordained did not allow us to remarry divorced people. So, I had never really faced the question until we moved from that state. Since it was now my own decision to remarry couples, I did so, accepting the teaching about the innocent party.

    Now God started me on a quest for the truth. I went to my knees, searched the Scriptures, and hardly ate or slept while God taught me. The truth is, according to Malachi 2:13 through 16, God says He won’t accept their offerings anymore. Why? – Because they have dealt treacherously with the wife of their youth who is the wife of their covenant. God says HE HATES divorce and they have wearied Him by saying everyone who does evil is good in His sight and He delighted in them. If we are to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, why would we want to do something He hates?

    I have always believed the plain words were the main words. If Scripture is not plain it leaves room for man to manipulate the Word, and manipulate they have.

    Jesus says in Luke 16:18: “Whosoever (same whosoever used in John 3:16) putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth (ongoing) adultery, (if God didn’t consider the man and woman still married it wouldn’t be considered adultery, it would be fornication) and whosoever (same as John 3:16) marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    Jesus says in Mark 10:11,12: “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband AND be married to another, she committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    Paul tells us in Romans 7:2-3 that if a woman marries another man while her husband is alive, she SHALL (a command) be called an adulteress though she be married to another man. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    The Scripture that is unclear to most Christians is Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 about remarriage. Instead of searching out the background of this Scripture which uses the word fornication instead of adultery, Pastors have taken it as a carte blanche to remarry divorced members of their church and to divorce and remarry themselves. Now Christians find themselves in the position of being less forgiving of their mates than non-Christians. The divorce rate in America is over 50% while among Christian believers it is approximately 60%. Shouldn’t, at the very least, those stats be reversed? When it comes to remarriage, according to a 2002 study by the Center for Disease Prevention, among women age 14-44, 82% of Fundamentalist Christians are most likely to remarry within ten years of divorce, while in ten years 66% of non-religious people are likely to remarry. The Word says in Matthew 6:15 that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. So, where does this leave us? Since divorce is an act of unforgiveness, it follows that we have a problem receiving God’s forgiveness.

    We were privileged to travel to the Holy Land and while there, a Jewish guide explained Matthew 5 and 19 to us. Matthew was written to the Jews, who had the custom of arranging marriages. The father of the groom paid the bride price, struck hands with the father of the bride and the marriage was a done deal. But the marriage was not consummated until the night of the wedding feast, usually at least a year after the fathers’ arrangement. This was to prove her virginity. If there was no blood on the marriage sheet from breaking the hymen, she was not considered a virgin but was considered a fornicator and her husband could put her away (divorce her). That is why Matthew 5 and 19 say fornication. It was written to the Jews in accord with their customs.

    Joseph chose to put Mary away quietly before the Angel told him to not be afraid to take her as his wife. In Jesus’ time the Jews didn’t divorce because of adultery, because adulterers were stoned and then the “innocent” party was free to remarry. God says in Mark 10:8 that “They twain shall be one flesh so that they are NO MORE twain (two), but one flesh. In other words He makes you one and you will NEVER AGAIN be two. I had to ask God to forgive me for remarrying divorced people and going against His Word.

    We have a ministry called “New Hope for Broken Marriages” which came about because of my wife and I going through the valley and almost divorcing. Then I believed like a lot of Pastors and Christians believe today. I could divorce her and God would forgive me and it would be under the blood. I found out later no sin is under the Blood if it isn’t confessed and relinquished. You have to ADMIT IT AND QUIT IT! Christians today in the churches don’t find it hard to admit it but they find it very hard to quit it.

    The number of pastors divorcing their wives is appalling. My only conclusion is that they don’t believe God’s Word to be true. It’s the old story of the frog in the boiling water. It’s not too bad in the beginning, but by the time the water is boiling, it’s too late. I plead with pastors and pastors’ wives to COUNT THE COST. Not only do they put themselves in danger of missing Heaven (no adulterers will enter Heaven), but they endanger all who follow their teaching, and as Pastors, will be held responsible.

    PLEASE PASTORS, COUNT THE COST!
    THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO BE WRONG!
    Signed,
    Pastor Dana Hartong

    Copyright© 2003 by Rev. Dana and Val Hartong. All rights reserved except as noted below.

    This article was written for Theological Foundations Ministries at http://www.marriagedivorce.com for purposes of publication on its web sites. It may be reproduced for non-commercial reasons by others provided it is copied as is, and is unaltered in anyway whatsoever and this full copyright notice is included in all copies.

  2. 2 Ron and Barbara Pirie

    Greetings and God bless you Isaac and Denisha because you put God first! We desperately need to read more articles like this one, whether we be disciples of Christ or non-believers, but could we encourage readers to read the FULL REPORT as the heading “Love and Remarriage” is deceiving. This is not about remarriage to a 2nd, 3rd etc. spouse, but about remarriage to one’s original one-flesh covenant wife or husband after a divorce as Jesus has told us in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke that all remarriage other than that is adultery and we desperately need to heed the warnings (see 1 Cor 6: 9 as just one example) in the N.T. about how the unrighteous (one e.g. adulterers) will not inherit the kingdom of God. Our God does not show favouritism and this applies whether believers or non-believers yet we need to remember that 1 Corinthians was written to the ‘church’ in Corinth and also to keep in mind the context of the Book of Revelation (i.e. to the ’saints’) which also contains many warnings about those who ’shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death’ ( Rev. 21: 8 and 22: 15 are two examples). In Genesis 2: 24, at the beginning – the creation, our Abba Father instituted marriage for ALL mankind when He said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” and the best description we have heard of this ‘one-flesh’ likens it to mixing a pot of blue paint with a pot of yellow paint whereby you get one new ‘paint/colour’ which can no longer be separated into two (’colours’) again!

    There’s some excellent resource material at http://www.marriagedivorce.com and an Australian website http://www.wisereaction.org wherein is found the following item which outlines the real meaning of the controversial scriptures on remarriage in Matthew 5 and 19.
    In His Shalom.

    COUNT THE COST, BY PASTOR DANA HARTONG

    “Dad, is there ANY scripture you can find in the Word of God that would allow us to give our blessing to my father-in-law’s up-coming marriage to a divorced woman?” That was the question that started me on the journey to find the truth about this issue.

    We had lived in Indiana, and the church in which I was ordained did not allow us to remarry divorced people. So, I had never really faced the question until we moved from that state. Since it was now my own decision to remarry couples, I did so, accepting the teaching about the innocent party.

    Now God started me on a quest for the truth. I went to my knees, searched the Scriptures, and hardly ate or slept while God taught me. The truth is, according to Malachi 2:13 through 16, God says He won’t accept their offerings anymore. Why? – Because they have dealt treacherously with the wife of their youth who is the wife of their covenant. God says HE HATES divorce and they have wearied Him by saying everyone who does evil is good in His sight and He delighted in them. If we are to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, why would we want to do something He hates?

    I have always believed the plain words were the main words. If Scripture is not plain it leaves room for man to manipulate the Word, and manipulate they have.

    Jesus says in Luke 16:18: “Whosoever (same whosoever used in John 3:16) putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth (ongoing) adultery, (if God didn’t consider the man and woman still married it wouldn’t be considered adultery, it would be fornication) and whosoever (same as John 3:16) marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    Jesus says in Mark 10:11,12: “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband AND be married to another, she committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    Paul tells us in Romans 7:2-3 that if a woman marries another man while her husband is alive, she SHALL (a command) be called an adulteress though she be married to another man. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

    The Scripture that is unclear to most Christians is Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 about remarriage. Instead of searching out the background of this Scripture which uses the word fornication instead of adultery, Pastors have taken it as a carte blanche to remarry divorced members of their church and to divorce and remarry themselves. Now Christians find themselves in the position of being less forgiving of their mates than non-Christians. The divorce rate in America is over 50% while among Christian believers it is approximately 60%. Shouldn’t, at the very least, those stats be reversed? When it comes to remarriage, according to a 2002 study by the Center for Disease Prevention, among women age 14-44, 82% of Fundamentalist Christians are most likely to remarry within ten years of divorce, while in ten years 66% of non-religious people are likely to remarry. The Word says in Matthew 6:15 that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. So, where does this leave us? Since divorce is an act of unforgiveness, it follows that we have a problem receiving God’s forgiveness.

    We were privileged to travel to the Holy Land and while there, a Jewish guide explained Matthew 5 and 19 to us. Matthew was written to the Jews, who had the custom of arranging marriages. The father of the groom paid the bride price, struck hands with the father of the bride and the marriage was a done deal. But the marriage was not consummated until the night of the wedding feast, usually at least a year after the fathers’ arrangement. This was to prove her virginity. If there was no blood on the marriage sheet from breaking the hymen, she was not considered a virgin but was considered a fornicator and her husband could put her away (divorce her). That is why Matthew 5 and 19 say fornication. It was written to the Jews in accord with their customs.

    Joseph chose to put Mary away quietly before the Angel told him to not be afraid to take her as his wife. In Jesus’ time the Jews didn’t divorce because of adultery, because adulterers were stoned and then the “innocent” party was free to remarry. God says in Mark 10:8 that “They twain shall be one flesh so that they are NO MORE twain (two), but one flesh. In other words He makes you one and you will NEVER AGAIN be two. I had to ask God to forgive me for remarrying divorced people and going against His Word.

    We have a ministry called “New Hope for Broken Marriages” which came about because of my wife and I going through the valley and almost divorcing. Then I believed like a lot of Pastors and Christians believe today. I could divorce her and God would forgive me and it would be under the blood. I found out later no sin is under the Blood if it isn’t confessed and relinquished. You have to ADMIT IT AND QUIT IT! Christians today in the churches don’t find it hard to admit it but they find it very hard to quit it.

    The number of pastors divorcing their wives is appalling. My only conclusion is that they don’t believe God’s Word to be true. It’s the old story of the frog in the boiling water. It’s not too bad in the beginning, but by the time the water is boiling, it’s too late. I plead with pastors and pastors’ wives to COUNT THE COST. Not only do they put themselves in danger of missing Heaven (no adulterers will enter Heaven), but they endanger all who follow their teaching, and as Pastors, will be held responsible.

    PLEASE PASTORS, COUNT THE COST! THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO BE WRONG!
    Signed, Pastor Dana Hartong

    Copyright© 2003 by Rev. Dana and Val Hartong. All rights reserved except as noted below.

    This article was written for Theological Foundations Ministries at http://www.marriagedivorce.com for purposes of publication on its web sites. It may be reproduced for non-commercial reasons by others provided it is copied as is, and is unaltered in anyway whatsoever and this full copyright notice is included in all copies.

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